we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize