whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
