So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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