Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize