I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
