Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
