What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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