On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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