i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
