He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
