What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
