Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
