I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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