even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
