I'm drive I can fine osifer
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And then he peed in my hair
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
