You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
