kristin has been a bad kristin
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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