that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
