he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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