I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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