This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
