Got a toothbrush?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
