he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
As shirtless as possible
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
