I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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