So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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