It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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