Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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