I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
