Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We talked him into tasing himself.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
