we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
