I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I enjoy the company of your penis
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
