idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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