My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
