North Korea, Best Korea!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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