? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize