Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
