I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
too bad you live with your parents still
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
