Please, let me fuck your mom
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Randomize
