Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
