Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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