A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He better not be in your backpack
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
