3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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