it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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