Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
