well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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