Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
