I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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