i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
