I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
