I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
