so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
this will be a night to untag.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
