Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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