U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
