I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
