I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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