So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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