considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
