How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize