Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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