this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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