actually, I'm a sock model
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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