I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
