I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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