Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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