I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize