from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
