can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he thought i was a dude.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize