worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
