you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize