He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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