In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
